Babies are 3 Months Old

How does one explain the feelings that I feel everyday? How do you explain how it feels to look at a month go by with your baby here and celebrate, and mourn each day as well? What would he be doing? How would he react? How in the world would I take care of two babies, one is so hard!

When does it get easier? When do I stop questioning everything, and accept that our Heavenly Father took our little miracle for a reason? When do I stop being angry and just accept that I wasn't meant to have him on Earth? I was used in the Lord's plan, yet I feel so selfish because I am the one who wanted him!

The babies turned 3 months yesterday, and it has been 3 months today since our baby boy left us.

Dear Mommy,

I know how much you love me, And I know how much you care. I know you are still wishing that I were still there. I know this day is hard for you, And I know you will probally cry, And God knows your hurting too, he understands just why, for he gave his son, so I could be an angel in the sky. I wish I could be there to wipe away your tears. But I am up here with Jesus now. And in some future year, we will all be together, and there will be no more tears. And we will get to know each other just like we wanted to. But for now, just know I love you. And Jesus loves you too. My Father here in Heaven wathces over me for you.

I love you little man!!!