Secrets...Secrets...Secrets

Well, since no one knows about this blog, my secret is safely kept...that is until we are ready to let the cat out of the bag, and then you all can read it from day one.

The end of October marked a pivotal moment in both mine and Brian's lives. It was that day my doctor said to us if we wanted to have children, we needed to start now, time was not on our side. Brian and I took that information out the door that day and with somber tones in our voices we realized that our options were so limited.

Option 1: In Vitro Fertilization - This option was the one that for both of us seemed to work in our heads, but financially speaking, how where we going to come up with the $20,000 + in order to do this in the time frame needed to do it?

Option 2: Sperm Donation - This option seemed cost effective to at least "Try" to get pregnant, but we both decided that we couldn't bare to raise a child that wasn't both of ours.

Option 3: Adoption - Adoption agencies in the USA will not allow you to adopt if you have 2 biological children, and agencies outside of the country require marriage of at least 2 years.

Our options seemed to be dwindling away, but we still had hope. I prayed every night that Brian's vasectomy would just grow back together, and that I would someday be able to go to him to say "Honey we are pregnant!"

When Brian and I were in the baby stages of our relationship it was never denied that I wanted to be a mother, he and I both decided that if we continued down the path of marriage, he would be selfish to not allow me to experience something he values and cherishes so much. We both knew that eventually we would have a child together, but didn't realize that we would be faced with making the decision so soon.

On Halloween night a phone call was received from our dear friend Shannon, who is a nurse Practitioner for the fertility clinic here. She gave Brian the news that Progesterone is doing a clinical trial and they are looking for 10-12 women nationwide to try this new drug out on, and was wondering if we would consider being one of the couples to try this. We are in the baby stages of In-Vitro at no cost to us, other than the costs of having a baby.

I have my first appointment tomorrow morning, and can't wait to begin this trip into motherhood. I prayed to God every night and every day that I would be a great mom if he would just allow me the opportunity. With my prayers, God has given me this opportunity, this baby will truly be a Child of God!

I look forward to updating this with fun news all the time!